There will be light at the end of the tunnel

The unhappiness we experience is not so much a result of the difficulties encountered along our journey as it is of our misperception of how life instructs us. We may see a failed relationship as an indictment of our self-worth when it is really a lesson in using better judgment, in valuing ourselves more, in expressing greater appreciation for our partner–lessons to prepare us for a more loving and fulfilling union. If we are passed over for a much-anticipated promotion, it may be just the push we need to get more training or to venture out on our own as an entrepreneur. As we rise to meet the challenges that are a natural part of living, we awaken to our many undiscovered gifts, to our inner power and our purpose.

-Susan L. Taylor

I have had personal experience with setbacks in my life leading me to self-indictments. From relationships that had failed, to financial struggles, to lapses in judgment and the consequences of bad decisions I had made. It was often easy for me to see these difficulties as “my fault,” and not to see them as anything more. It was my inability to see the potential for growth in these experiences that Susan is warning us about, for each difficulty we face in life brings with it the opportunity for learning, growing, and becoming something greater.

Years ago, when something bad happened to me, or someone did something unpleasant to me, I tended to feel responsible, as if there was something wrong with me, or that perhaps I was worthless and nobody cared about me or what happened to me. I have since realized that this is not true, and was merely a “misperception of how life instructs us all.”

Unfortunately, those feelings of self-indictment often serve only to perpetuate the cycle–our negative feelings affect others in our lives and in turn lead them avoid us.

Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Taking personal fault for difficulties in life, or sulking in misery and depression only serve to increase our unhappiness. Life is a journey. And if we treat it as such, we will find that the difficulties we face are merely experiences along the way–not the final destination.

Think about a time something that seemed to be terrible happened to you that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. What kind of good came from the situation? Could the good have come if the bad had not?


Questions to consider:

Do you ever get angry at yourself over someone’s comments or actions? What leads you to do so? Are these feelings realistic?

Why do we allow others to hurt us and cause us to berate ourselves?

Do you consciously try to hurt others?


For further thought:

The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.

-Theodore Rubin

Maintain a positive attitude

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

-Abraham Lincoln

Roses have always been one of my favorite flowers. Of course, when the thorns poke me, it can be quite painful. Still, those thorns should not detract from the beauty of the flower–the deep colors, the subtle sweet scent, and the intricate designs. Life is a lot like a rose… it has all the beauty and splendor one could imagine or ever want, but it also has thorns that may prick us and cause us pain. The question posed to us here is this: are we going to let the thorns detract from the beauty inherent in the rose? Will we rejoice in life in spite of the sufferings we may endure, or will we complain about those sufferings and allow them to detract from our experience in this life?

Many of us tend to be reactionary in life, perhaps as a result of how we were brought up or experiences that we have been through. As a result, we tend to feel that all of the conditions of our lives are subject to the winds of chance–if we are miserable, it was probably due to the way someone else treated us or something else that affected us. The reality, however, is that we control our own attitudes in life. We can establish our attitude each morning and then carry it with us throughout the day, sharing it with those with whom we interact. Everything we feel or do is a cause in which we can then choose to have a positive, or negative, corresponding effect.

I have a simple way of looking at how others treat me now–a person did something unpleasant to me either because they wanted to hurt me or because they were not aware that their action was hurtful. Likewise, when something else affects me negatively or causes me suffering, I try to look at it as an opportunity for growth. For it is only through trials that I can become greater than the person I was yesterday. My attitude in such situations makes a world of difference on my experience here each day of my life.

If we take control of our attitudes, as the positive grows beyond ourselves, we will be a person that others love to be around. Additionally, the positive we radiate to the world will shine back upon us, and we will find our own company to be enjoyable.

Choose to have a positive attitude for the entirety of today, and keep it.


Questions to consider:

How much of your attitude is determined by other’s actions, and your reactions to what they do?

Do you form your attitude about life based on your expectations of what life should be like? If so, what is the probable outcome of those expectations?

If you would like the world to treat you in a certain way, do you treat the world in that way?


For further thought:

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Doing good

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.

-Voltaire

Doing good in life is a conscious choice that each of us make on our own terms. For this fact, we can be guilty of not doing good–and for much of my life, I had never really thought about it this way. Instead, I saw doing good as simply being charitable, as being the type of person who has a lot and wishes to give some of that to others. But here, Voltaire tells us quite simply that it a duty that we are held accountable for.

Why do people do good things sometimes and not-so-good things at other times? Usually it comes down to a couple of criteria–which choice would give them the most benefit, or which choice would help them to avoid pain or unpleasantness. However, such a view is purely self-centered and exhibits no altruistic qualities at all. We are accountable for all that we do in this life–the good we spread in the world as well as the bad. And if we recognize this and start to live our lives in such a manner, we will find ourselves in sync with the positive energy that so many people contribute to–the energy of compassion and true charity. Our good acts energize us and they energize the recipients of the acts, and selfishness is not just put aside, but defeated entirely.

By being held accountable for the good that I do, I find that I want my acts to contribute to the good of the world–to the peace, fulfillment, appreciation, gratitude, and all the other positive energies. Living our lives in a manner that is focused on others and giving to others, even if it is in the form of intangibles such as encouragement or a simple smile, can and should be something we strive to achieve each day of our lives.

Perform a good deed today with no expectation of personal gain or benefit.


Questions to consider:

Do you do good acts naturally, or do you have to think about them before you do them?

What are your favorite types of good acts that you perform? How often do you perform them?

What are the visible effects on others when you perform good acts? On yourself?


For further thought:

Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money… and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a Big Brother or Sister. . . . You want to do well, but if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.

-Anna Quindlen

Be at peace with yourself

We don’t realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

There are moments in my life when I become aware of a peace from within me. Quiet times spent in reflection alone, or times when I am running on a beautiful day and I notice the leaves rustling in the trees, or the children’s laughter as they are running and playing, or any number of things. I imagine you have experienced such a moment–one in which you lost interest in the busyness in your life, a moment when you felt content and had a better understanding of life and where you were headed. This is a glimpse at the self that Elizabeth is talking about–the self that is in each of us that we can experience indefinitely if we choose to.

The smaller things in life often seem a waste of time as adults. Listening to the laughter of children playing, watching the leaves rustle in the wind, and smelling the scent of the flowers in the pasture–we often think that we should be spending our time collecting profound experiences, and we seldom spend any time understanding them. However, the times we spend focusing on the smaller things in life are the times of peace, the times of renewal, the times of bringing ourselves to an entirely new level. These are the times when we let our cares sink back into a place where they are not able to create the tension and the stress that they normally cause.

I find it a bit funny that we must let go and recognize that we do not need to be in control, to finally gain control of our inner peace. But if we are able to do so… who can say what we can do with that–the possibilities are quite endless. With this peace, we can act with grace and dignity, our decisions can become clearer and less influenced by tension, and we can allow things to happen to us and around us without losing our composure.

Stop and listen. These two things can provide you with an inner peace that simply cannot be attained any other way. We all have the choice, and it is difficult to imagine anyone choosing stress and work over peace and equanimity. It is always up to us, and we can benefit ourselves greatly by stopping, listening, and recognizing the peace of this world.

Find peace within yourself today.


Questions to consider:

Do you often feel at peace? What are the factors that are in place when you do?

Is it easy for you to get caught up in collecting data and things? How do you feel when you do? In the short term? In the long term?

Where is peace in your life?


For further thought:

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

With your eyes open!

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.

-Jawaharlal Nehru

After reading Jawaharlal’s words, I picture myself walking down this beautiful country road on a beautiful summer day and all about me is the presence of life. The birds in the air, a cool gentle breeze upon my face, the warm sun shining upon my skin, the smell of plants, trees, and flowers all about. But here I am, walking with my eyes closed, as if sleep-walking through this wondrous Garden of Eden.

In a way, Jawaharlal is warning us about missing our own lives, of facing a true poverty that is simply avoidable, if only we open our eyes. There are times in my life where I lose my focus and awareness of the beauty all around me, when I miss the opportunities and adventures that lay right there before my eyes. For some, it may take a terminal illness or a near death experience to open their eyes. And although I hope that is not the case, I would like to think that we each will find the opportunity to open our eyes at some point in our lives.

I read a passage once about a boy who found a quarter on the sidewalk. He had almost walked right past it, but it caught the sun just right and its gleam caught his attention. All of a sudden, he realized that there might be treasures on the ground that he never would see if he did not look, so he determined that he never would miss another potential treasure, and he kept his eyes on the ground from that moment on.

Over the next few decades, he found literally hundreds of dollars that other people walked right by. One day, though, he looked up, and saw the most beautiful sight he ever had seen–a rainbow that filled the eastern sky. It held him spellbound until it disappeared, and he wondered why he never had seen such a thing before. The answer, of course, was painful to him–he had sacrificed the experience of such beauty for the possibility of finding a few more cents here and there. For years, he had missed sunsets, smiles, rainbows, clouds, trees, and so much more because he had been focused on the ground.

There are many distractions in life that can cause us to lose focus and to miss the beauty all around us–our work, our hobbies, our obsessions, our possessions, money, or any number of things. But if we can keep ourselves aware, we can learn to see and to recognize all of the things that can make life so meaningful. The possibility of a few coins on the ground cannot match the glory of a sunset or the special moment of a shared smile.

Make a short list of some of the magical things that you see and experience every day.


Questions to consider:

How would you go about seeking adventures “with your eyes open?”

How do you feel when you see other people miss the beauty in life because they are so focused on one particular thing or project?

Are they being responsible with their lives?


For further thought:

I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them their “divine, magical, and ecstatic” existence.

-Clyde S. Kilby

Prioritise your attention

When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower. I want them to see it whether they want to or not.

-Georgia O’Keeffe

Generally, when I pass by flowers in a store, or during the day, I typically tend not to truly look at them. However, when I do take the time to look at them, to really stop and comprehend their presence and to let them “be my world for the moment,” my whole day changes. I am swept back to memories of my childhood, of being out in the pastures back home and riding horses. I am in awe at the beauty that grew up from a small seed into the flower before me. I know it would be wonderful if I could “give that world to someone else,” to allow them to see, feel, hear, smell, taste, and experience the beauty that I am witness to at that moment.

I feel that Georgia is challenging me to do two things today. First off, I am to look at life and everything around me with appreciation and gratitude. Then, I am to share the beauty I have come to find with those whom I care for. She is somewhat encouraging us to each be artists like herself, and to paint our lives as beautifully as we can so that others may experience that beauty.

It is important that we find time in our busy lives to be free–free to be there for others, free to experience whatever life offers us, free to allow ourselves to focus on the beauty in life. We have to pick and choose, and it is important that we choose those things that will help us to be better people, not just busy people.

Share something you find beautiful in life with someone else.


Questions to consider:

How do you prioritize where your attention lies each day?

How much of your current lifestyle is the result of your decisions?

What kinds of things would you do if you had time to do them?


For further thought:

The busy have no time for tears.

-Lord Byron

You are unique

How do we change the world? Change the story. The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation.

-Charles Eisenstein

Whether we are aware of it or not… we all have a hand in this world. The positive things that I do add positively to this world and the negative things add negatively. Often times we wish to think that our actions are isolated from the world, from others around us. However, as Charles points out, this is just an illusion.

There is no separation between those we meet in life and ourselves. For our lives are an interwoven tapestry, our destinies depend upon those who touch our lives, those who affect us, as well as us touching the lives of others around us. Take for instance the person I am today. If not for the choices made by my parents–of giving birth, of rearing me, of the level of involvement they choose in my life, of the friends I associated with, and on and on–I would not be who I am today.

So how can we change the world that we each live in to be a better world? Well similar to an author writing a novel, we have the ability to change the story at any point in our lives. We can be the heroes or the villains; we can choose to add in happiness or suffering–for our decisions can determine just how the story goes, and eventually how the book ends.

What choices are you making today? Are those bringing the change you wish to see in your world? Are you sharing your life, your talents, and your touch with others around you today?

Think of some of the unique gifts you have been given that you can share with others.


Questions to consider:

In what ways to you involve yourself in positive change?

Are others always receptive to what you have to share with them?

How can you share your understanding of the bonds and connections we all share with those around you?


For further thought:

You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.

-Irene C. Kassorla

Feel joy in life

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

-Ashley Smith

I find Ashley’s words moving, for the little things in life are what truly matter. They are the things that bind us to each other, that enable us to experience the depth of our humanity as well as our soul. Do I have this awareness and attentiveness to life? They are not hidden, yet how often do I take even a moment to truly experience them?

Every year during at least one rainstorm, I try to let myself truly experience the beauty of it. For most of the year, I generally tend to prefer to stay dry. However, for this one instance, I allow myself to stand in the downpour–to feel the cool drops bounce off my skin, to experience my clothes soaking up the rain and surrounding me in it, to hear the roaring sounds of the drops hitting the Earth, to smell the unmistakeable scent of the water–and the experience awakens within me so much life. It gives to me a sense of peace, of purpose, of hope, and of appreciation–qualities that make my life much more pleasant and much richer.

So often in our lives, we do not take the time to notice the simple beauty of life, or we ignore it or overlook it. We have so much to be thankful for, yet we lose our gratitude when we are not conscious of those things. Have you taken a hot bubble bath lately? There are plenty of people in the world who are unable to experience such a thing so easily. Do you take time to experience nature? Many people surround themselves in buildings and fabricated noise… and when they are out, they ignore the beauty around them provided by this Earth.

I know of few individuals who have experienced life-changing events and have come to find the gratitude that Ashley speaks of. However, I do not want to have to be terminally ill before I recognize and appreciate all that I have to be thankful for. The hot cocoa on a cold afternoon, the stereo that plays my favorite music for me, the sunshine in the early morning, the laughter of children, the smiles that people share with me–life is so full of beauty.

Take some time today to sit and observe the beauty all around you.


Questions to consider:

What are your favorite parts of life?

What things give you that small joy that makes you feel great? How many of those things can you notice today?

Have you ever tried to help someone else to notice the small things?


For further thought:

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

-Frederick Keonig

Foster your relationships

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

-Albert Schweitzer

I feel the concept that Albert is conveying here is incredibly important, for everyone one of us loses their sense of direction at some point during their lives. And when we lose our sense of direction, often times our “inner fire goes out”–we lose our purpose, our focus, our desire to be more than we currently are.

I find that the passion in my life most often dies down when I find myself becoming stagnant or stuck in a rut. For others, perhaps doubting or questioning the many things they were taught as children has caused them to lose or question their bearings. And in my experience, it has often taken someone else coming into my life, or someone I knew and cared about, to help me reignite my inner fire, to “rekindle my inner spirit.” Usually these are people with whom I feel some sort of connection or bond–people who challenge me and perhaps make me feel a bit uncomfortable because they challenge me.

We should not step away from these people in our lives. Doing so may diminish the opportunities that we might have had to learn from them. Those who “rekindle the inner spirit” are the people we should embrace, the people we should rejoice to have found.

Be aware of others in your life. There are people who can rekindle that spirit, who can light the fire inside, if we let them. The question we must ask ourselves, then, is whether we are open enough to allow them to ignite that spark, or are we keeping them at arm’s length to “protect” ourselves, thus never allowing the flame to be lit?

Take time today to foster your relationships with others in your life.


Questions to consider:

Can you be the flame that rekindles other people’s spirits? How?

Have you ever regretted not actively pursuing a friendship or relationship? Why did you choose to not pursue it? Why do you regret not doing so?

How can we challenge others in our lives in their times of need?


For further thought:

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Focus on “what is right” in your life.

We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what’s wrong in your life, or you can focus on what’s right.

-Marianne Williamson

In life, there are good days and there are bad days, and that is ok. There have to be bad days for us to truly appreciate the good ones. However, as Marianne points out, our perception of those bad days is completely up to us. We can “focus on what is wrong, or what is right.” And where we place our focus directly affects the intensity of the effect those days have on us.

A day in which we do not worry, regardless of our circumstances, is certainly a good day. Whether those times are good or bad, they are the only times we have. And if they are bad, certainly we would do well to seek peace, for looking at life or situations with a pessimistic view will do little to alleviate the troubles, and will do lots to overwhelm us and prolong our suffering.

In reflecting about your own life, how often have you seen things as going well? I find that life generally offers me much more to focus on than I am able to, or need to, focus on. Therefore, it is important that I carefully choose just what I allow into my mind on a deeper level, and what I keep on the periphery. If I allow my coworker’s family problems to preoccupy me, for example, then I am adding a new set of worries to my life. Thus, it helps to strive to let others do what they do, and be what they are, and simply remain ready to step in and help in a situation when necessary, while keeping a clear idea of just what belongs in our minds. Typically, if it is something I cannot control, or is out of my realm of influence, I am much better off not letting it be something that overwhelms me.

How we live our lives is up to us–the way we react to input, and which input we consider important enough to worry about or to focus on strongly, is our decision to make.

Focus on “what is right” in your life.

Questions to consider:

How often have you seen things in your life or at work or in the family as going very well, only to have a discussion with someone who sees things as going poorly?

How often do things seem to be so overwhelming that it is impossible to bear them?

Do you consciously choose the things you focus on, or do you allow things to work their way into your mind on their own, without ever sitting down and deciding whether they are important enough to worry about?

For further thought:

The world is perfect. It’s a mess. It has always been a mess. We are not going to change it. Our job is to straighten out our own lives.

-Joseph Campbell