“The wizard’s answer is that love needs to be uncovered, stripped of layers of anger, fear, and selfishness that obscure it like old shellac. To achieve a totally loving life, purify the life you have. There is no right or wrong approach to love. “A person desperately searching for love,” Merlin said, “reminds me of a fish desperately searching for water.” Life can seem extremely unloving, but it is really the eye of the perceiver, not the world “out there,” that deprives anyone of love.” ~ Deepak Chopra, The Way of the Wizard …
It is a bit comical to imagine myself a fish flopping around on the ground, desperately searching for water. Yet I can remember a period in my life when my search for love was just that: like a fish frantically searching around for the one thing I desired deep within my heart. But the thing about love is that it is not something one can simply find without becoming prepared for it; one must uncover the love within–“strip away the layers of anger, fear, and selfishness” so that they are welcoming towards love. Therein lies the catch: because we fail to be receptive to love, many of us are the reason we fail to find the love we seek and desire.
Just like water, love is all around us. Even during those times in my life when I felt alone–completely unloved and unappreciated–love was there. Yet because I was so involved in my feelings and my perceived lack, I failed–or refused–to see all the love that was there. In addition, I was confusing romantic love with the love I felt I needed. I wanted the special relationship, the physical bonds, the emotional attraction, the butterflies in the stomach, and that someone who would feel the same way about me. Of course, I knew I already had love in my life–family members who would do anything for me, close friends, and of course God. However, I was not being receptive to that love–I was not allowing myself to feel the love that others where showing me and pouring forth into my life. I denied its existence simply because it was not in the form in which I wanted it to be or it did not meet my expectations.
In retrospect, I was a bit foolish to be searching and hoping for that something that was already a huge part of my life. Yet that is how we learn. Life is a journey that must be lived and experienced–mistakes and all. And during the course of my journey I discovered the truth that Deepak writes of–that love surrounds us. It was there forty some years ago when I was a child, it is here at this very moment, and it will be there tomorrow as I experience the day. But I have to allow my heart and mind to be receptive to the love–I need to recognize it and accept it.
Be receptive to the love that surrounds you.
Questions to consider:
Have you ever felt unwanted or unloved? If so, why did you feel this way? What love was available to you during this period of your life?
Why might we spend so much time searching for something that is already all around us?
What would a fish searching for water find? How would it find it?
For further thought:
“The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves–say rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” ~ Victor Hugo, Les Miserables