“Don’t send me flowers when I die–give them to me now so we can appreciate their beauty together!” – C. Leslie Charles … 

Have you ever considered how much time and effort we spend on funerals–ceremonies that exist to show our deference for people who are already dead, and who cannot know or appreciate that we are honoring them? What is that all about? I am of course aware that much of what we do during funerals is to bring comfort to the survivors, but the bottom line is that it is the life of the person who has died that brings us together.

Personally, I do not want or need a funeral. I will be dead after all, so I will not be able to enjoy it. I would prefer to do what Morrie Schwartz did when he was dying from ALS–have a funeral before he died so that he could actually hear the kind and loving things that people had to say about him. I would prefer that people spend money on flowers for me while I am still here to be amazed by their graceful beauty and fragrance. And I do not want anyone to shed tears–I will be moving on to something new and different, a much happier place without the evils of this world, and I would much rather people celebrate with me than mourn because of me.

Of course, it is important for those left behind to grieve–it is a natural human emotion to do so. But the grief does not have to be tied to things like buying flowers too late or wishing that we had told the deceased certain things whilst they were still alive.

Is there anyone in my life who could use some flowers today? Do I know someone who could use some kind words of affection, someone who has affected me in positive ways, but whom I have not yet told? Instead of giving things like this posthumously, I can actually share those flowers or words with them now, and both of us will be richer for the experience.

Gift flowers to someone you care about or let them know how much they mean to you.

Questions to consider:

Why do we so often wait until someone is dead before we speak aloud the thoughts we have of them?

What would it feel like to share some flowers with a person who’s special to you, for no real reason other than he or she is special to you?

How would you feel if someone told you how special you are to them without having waited until you die to do so?

For further thought:

Though they are lovely, their scent heavenly,
splendid in all their bouquet;
Don’t bring me flowers after I’m gone –
show me you love me today.

What good will they do caressing a stone,
though pretty, their meaning I’ll miss;
Express to me now you’re thankful I’m here,
give me a hug or a kiss.

My age has crept up have wrinkles aplenty,
my good years behind me, at best;
but wisdom and spirit I’m happy to share,
indulge now – before I’m at rest.

Lori Williams


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Filed under Commentary, Food For Thought, Living, Opinion

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