“Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”. ~ Erica Jong…
It is rather comforting to be able to pass the blame off ourselves and onto others in life–this allows us to act in self-serving and often hurtful ways without making the mud we are dragging into our house as noticeable. This also creates a false sense of self-righteousness–as if we are better than others are and our negative and hurtful actions are justified. But when we do this, we also give up our power: power to initiate necessary personal growth on all levels, and power to bring about positive change in our lives.
I know a few individuals who constantly complain about how bad they have it in life. They continually place blame on others and toil endlessly to ensure that everyone else knows that it is not their fault whatsoever; everything that goes wrong in their life has to do with someone else–their spouse, their boss, their children, their job, or whatever else they can think of. And while these individuals will claim to be in control of their own lives, their complaints make it very clear that they do not truly feel that way.
We are not victims of life or circumstance; that is why it is important that we all hold each other accountable for our choices, words, and actions. And no matter how often we point the finger at others, only we are responsible for the consequences of the choices we make in life. We must therefore work to help one another recognize that complaining and shifting blame only serve to diminish our capacity and potential as a human–and spiritual–being.
Resolve to take your life into your own hands–that is where it is best kept. And as you strive to place less blame on outside forces, perhaps you may come to realize that 99% of the time, there really is no need to blame anyone at all–things simply are as they are. That realization allows us to accept our responsibilities and frees us up to live our lives in peace. That does not mean we must control our lives; rather, it simply means how we act is ultimately up to us.
Accept full responsibility for the consequences of your choices in life.
Questions to consider:
Is your life in your own hands? If not, how might you go about making it so?
Which individuals or outside forces do you blame for situations and events in your life?
What effects does blaming others have on your life?
For further thought:
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” ~ Wayne Dyer