The rising rate of infidelity between couples in Nigeria calls for worry as many marriages have been dissolved as a result of it. This report examines reasons behind this ugly trend with emphasis on women.
Infidelity in marriage which is as old as life itself is a crime various society, religion and age frown at; and as a result, stringent measures are placed to curtail this act. In some societics, the penalty could be as stiff as death. However, infidelity still strives leaving one to wonder why it has taken a form of legacy passed from one generation to the other.
Since the early 90s and with the advent of civilisation, it is almost becoming a norm. A lot of married women now have extra-marital affairs. Cheating among modern women is as common as it is among men, which is abstract and very different to what was in existence two decades ago when women were totally faithful, patient and more tolerating.
Different women give various reasons for their adulterous action, which majors on the need to satisfy their emotional demands.
Omobolanle (not real name) is a 30-year old married woman who said lack of attention from her husband made her seek for another man. “My husband is always travelling from one country to the other with little or no time for me. And even when he returns home, he seems to prefer watching television.
He will rather spend more time with younger women outside because he thinks I am too old and out of fashion now. I’ve exhausted every available avenue to make him see the emotional pains he is causing me to no avail. So I decided to seek attention from another man,” she admitted.
Anita, a mother of two admits to Omobolanle’s reason as a major factor for women’s infidel acts. She said: “Women cheat most times because they seek emotional connection, intimacy, and even friendship which most lack in their marriages.
Current research suggests that one in every five women has had an affair at one point or another, making that the highest rate in history. Some statistics show the percentage of women cheating is now equal to that of men cheating.
According to a new report by Durex, a condom manufacturing company, Nigerian women are ranked the most unfaithful with 62 percent. The report was carried out based on interviews with 29,000 people in 36 countries.
Tayo, a married man who confessed to AEB of still having an affair with his ex-girlfriend who is also married said his ex-girlfriend told him out rightly when he demanded to know if she feels guilty cheating on her husband that she does not. “I don’t feel guilty and I don’t love my husband less. He handles all responsibilities accordingly; I only cheat for the sole purpose of having some fun,” she told him.
Martha, whose reason is not based on her husband’s failure to satisfy her emotional need, cheats on her husband because of his poor financial state.
“My husband doesn’t tell me how much he earns or how he spends his money. He doesn’t involve me in his finances. He doesn’t even care about how I make my hair or my other personal needs as a woman. For this reason, I sort support from other men who can afford to take care of me,” she admits.
The resultant effect of this unholy act is on the children who are left to bear the brunt. There is a growing psychological evidence that adulterous behaviour in parents dramatically affects children when they reach adulthood. John Kester, a sociologist at the University of Lagos spoke to AEB on the effect of a cheating mother on their children. He said: “While we will not recommend that one stay forever in a loveless marriage.
Not only does it hurt the relationship, it has an adverse impact on family life, particularly if children are involved. When a mother is having an affair there is a different reaction in children because the mother is still most often considered the focus of the family and of course when the child learns of an affair, he or she is in a danger of losing confidence in the viability of marriage and family. It is advisable for a spouse to get in touch with a marriage counsellor if they think they are tempted to have an affair.”
There is no justification for a woman to cheat on her husband as it is a crime against humanity. It is nobler for a woman to call it quit with a troubled marriage and move on with her life than to remain in it and become a cheat.
But well, this is the reality of our life today and you know, reality and ideal have difficulty in meeting most of the time. So what do you think?