Overcome Anger

“Ruby stepped toward him. “Edward,” she said softly. It was the first time she had called him by name. “Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves. Forgive, Edward. Forgive. Do you remember the lightness you felt when you first arrived in heaven?”

Eddie did. Where is my pain?

“That’s because no one is born with anger. And when we die, the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel it.” She touched his hand. “You need to forgive your father.”

- Mitch Albom from The Five People You Meet in Heaven

When we’re angry with someone else, especially for long periods of time, we do harm to ourselves. It’s such a simple concept to understand, but understanding it doesn’t usually make it easier to control our anger. After all, some things that people do to us or to others are so bad that we have to stay mad, we have to hold onto the righteous anger that results from their actions. It sounds logical, but it’s completely untrue.

Sow Positivity

“Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.” - Bill Meyer

What am I planting in my life today? What kinds of thoughts am I allowing to run loose in my mind, taking up valuable space and time and effort? And if I am allowing negative thoughts to be the predominant thoughts of today, just what kind of reality am I creating for myself?

Strengthen Thy Soul

“When I feel betrayed by someone, instead of sulking, clinging to my resentment and playing the role of victim, I am challenged to strengthen my soul through forgiveness. By forgiving the person who hurt me, I strengthen my soul… each time we are called upon to forgive, we nourish our souls and learn more about who we are and what we have to share in this world. This is also an example of unconditional love.” - John Gray

Forgiveness truly is one of the greatest things in life. I’ve found that when I’m willing and able to forgive someone else, the burden of anger and resentment that I’ve been carrying around is gone immediately, and they no longer affect the way that I feel. I’m able to see the world in a brighter, more cheerful way, and my life is much more enjoyable. Forgiving someone else is sometimes important to the person who has caused us pain, but it’s much, much more important to me. If I don’t forgive someone, I sometimes cause that other person a bit of pain, but I always cause myself a great deal of misery.

Cost Of Hatred

“Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” - Hannah More

I know several people who would rather hold a grudge than forgive someone else. These people are unable to look past an action that they believe is unjustifiable and see the people behind the actions, unable to consider what forces might have been at work to cause someone else to do what he or she has done.

Work And Play

“Hang around doggies and kids; they know how to play.” - Geoffrey Godbey

One thing I have noticed over the past several holidays is that I tend to find myself spending more time around the children than the adults. Part of this may be contributed to the fact that my children ask me to play, but I also feel that I am drawn to their version of fun. The adults tend to stand or sit around and talk about current events–politics, sports, technology–whereas the children get out and jump on the trampolines, play football, volleyball, or baseball, and are full of energy and life.

Anew Perspective

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” - Shunryu Suzuki

It could be hard for one to decide whether Shunryu is speaking positively about being a beginner or about being an expert. I can see both sides of the coin–beginners bring a fresh perspective and new ideas, for they have not yet learned what will not work, and they are willing to try new and different things and perhaps come up with something else. Experts, on the other hand, understand almost everything there is to know about a topic, and it is much more difficult for them to think outside the envelope and see new and different possibilities.

Sharing And Caring

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” - Don Swartz

What Don is saying here is that involving others in our lives requires us to be involved in life. I feel this could be expanded upon a bit to include that we also show concern for others in our lives, since others tend to care more when they see how much you care. For example, when I am talking to my wife or children, colleagues or associates, friends or workers, if they show me they are listening intently and eagerly, I am much more compelled to continue speaking. In addition, teachers who care about their students, as well as what they are teaching, generally tend to reach their students much more effectively.

Condemnation Does Not Liberate

“Whether one is Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian, how you live your life is proof that you are or not fully his. We cannot condemn or judge or pass words that will hurt people. We don’t know in what way God is appearing to that soul and what God is drawing that soul to; therefore, who are we to condemn anybody?” - Mother Teresa

How did condemnation ever get to become such a standard part of human nature? Why is it so easy for us to stand in judgment of other people when we make so many mistakes ourselves? How can we spend so much time and effort condemning others when that time and effort would be so much more useful spent improving ourselves and our own natures–becoming more loving and compassionate as we do so?

Giving And Receiving

“The more we have given to ourselves, the more we have to give to others. When we find that place within ourselves that is giving, we begin to create an outward flow. Giving to others comes not from a sense of sacrifice, self-righteousness, or spirituality, but for the pure pleasure of it, because it’s fun. Giving can only come from a full, loving space.” - Shakti Gawain

How do you feel when someone gives you something with lots of conditions attached to it? Here, take this, they may say, but now you owe me. This type of action isn’t coming from a loving space, but from a selfish one, and the people who give in this way definitely aren’t people who have given freely to themselves. In fact, their need for return on their “gift” means that they probably neglect themselves on a very regular basis.

Making A Life

“From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.” - Arthur Ashe

I will get a lot of stuff in life… and with it, I can certainly make a living. I know a number of folks who lose perspective concerning the importance of the balance between receiving and giving. They tend to amass a collection of things that really do not make them happy while they are alive, and when they leave this life, they leave behind all this stuff that others have to deal with now as well. If I can recognize the potential in giving, however, I can leave others with so much more.